how much do you trust ?

  iamelainetherese:

“Trust is the easiest thing in the world to lose, and the hardest thing in the world to get back.”

—R. Williams

 i remembered playing this game called trust fall 2 years back. the game is simple u step on a chair and stand on it, before fully falling backwards with your friends behind you supporting you. sounds easy since it’s only a short height, but there again questions come floating in your mind on what if i injured myself, what if my friends didn’t catch me…

i remembered that when i was really young, i had lots of fear. fear of the unknown literally – fear of the worse… well it could be due to my operation when i was 12 days old and this fear has crept into my soul since then. Well, many of fears then have been overcome by the grace and power of God – and i’ve learn to trust people more (not easily eh). But i guess the reason why i don’t tend to trust people that easily in the past was due to fear of the unknown, or rather everything that was unfamiliar. And to add on to that, based on unpleasant experiences back when i was in primary school, the feeling of suspicion and fear crept into my life. I didn’t want to trust my friends too much… for fear of betrayal and backstab. But over the years, i’m thankful for the friends that have been in my life – those who have opened themselves up and shared their lives with me. it’s an opening that allowed me to trust not only them but to let me know that it’s okay to give your trust in people. And when people fails at times, sometimes we just have to forgive and let go because they may have just been careless and have forgotten to keep their promises. Yet sometimes i take it too hard on myself that the friend have forgotten me or even betrayed me and my heart becomes hurt. I remembered during my jc years, i felt so pseudo in class coz i felt out of place. well i blame my friends initially but later i realise that it was my problem – a lack of trusting my friends and failing to feel easy and have fun. i guess it was my fear that consumed me back in the past that led me to lack trust in people.

i’m not saying that i don’t trust people. I guess i’ve overcome that stage of life and now i would trust people more (but of course with prudence and wisdom) and not become a doormat for people to step on. It’s definitely a risk writing this here coz there again, u’ll see people evaluating my life seeing if i’m trusting them or not… but well i guess everyone here is still learning how to trust. And primarily why i’m writing this is coz during sermon last week about trust, i realise how much i’ve overcome the lack of trusting others by His grace and i’m thankful for that. Trust can be so hard to attain yet so easily it can be broken…. Emotions may stir one up and affect one so badly… but can i say that God is the only one who’s faithful til the end so much so that we can trust in His character… And primarily when we put in our trust in Him, then we can trust others because we’ve experienced His trust.

 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
       but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. ~ Psalms 20:7

Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding, in all of your ways acknowledge Him and He’ll make your paths straight. ~ Prov 3:5-6

believing in people

this past week has been so unexpected. An unexpected week of so much work, of so many hours spent in camp and returning home slightly later at night and tired. But it has taught me something – the attitude of patience and understanding.

saw this on juli’s tumblr just yesterday -

“It’s not about how sweet you can be, how much gifts you give, or even how much you’re willing to do for your loved one. It’s about how patient and understanding you can be when things aren’t going right, when someone does something that makes you angry, sad, or hurt.

It’s actually really easy to treat someone nicely, it’s easy to do a lot of sweet things for someone, it’s easy to shower someone with love and gifts. But it’s so hard, so hard, to be understanding and patient when things aren’t going the way you want.

If you care and love someone, try to just let little meaningless things go, sometimes even let the big things slide… ”

from hjlovestory.tumblr.com

Yep this week i’ve been training recruits about cpr and medical stuff. And it has taught me something. Even if they are slow in grasping concepts and when they really do their best and yet fail the tests posed to them, do ppl like me who’s testing them stay frustrated or remain patient and understanding. it isn’t easy as mentioned above. But i’m learning the process of being patient and understanding towards them, believing they can pass the tests posed to them.  they just need more guidance.

And more than that, I believe that in the outside world, people who have potential within them should exploit it to good use. it only takes a mentor or someone to guide them, to believe in them and to bring them out in their fullest potential.

i guess that’s mainly the role of a mentor today. well i’m not saying that a mentor (or even a teacher) can stay calm patient and understanding all the way. there are human flaws whereby sometimes our emotions stir us up to become so frustrated that we give up on people. But it’s in this learning journey that we minimize those human flaws and say yeah, i’m believing in you coz God created you and put in you a potential to succeed in life. and in this process over the past week, i guess it’s a learning process for me to stay patient and understanding and believe in people. it’ll be tiring it’ll take lots of sacrifices but i guess at the end of the day there’ll be a sense of achievement in seeing results and fruits in people’s lives, fruits of their success.

and the greatest of all is love

‘To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.’

As i read the news of the late passing of Mrs LKY and how her husband took care of her all the while, you can tell that the couple were dearly close to each other and it was hard to part. Love – in its simplicity means love no matter what the circumstances are. And you can tell that they both loved each other so dearly, a wonderful marriage through the turbulent times in the early history of Spore’s independence and all the way when she was bedridden. Love simply never changed. And it’s the power of what love can do in marriages. And i guess many can learn from them about love in marriages and love in the family.

The reason why love is so limited today  is because many haven’t tasted and grasp hold the whole meaning of love. I don’t believe that the Source of Love made love so complicated. It’s easy in good times, it’s less easier to love in hard times, but i believe the nature of love shouldn’t change no matter what happens. Just as the marriage vow says – for better or worse, for richer or poorer… i guess the greatest of all things you can ever find and treasure in life is love.

The source of Love expresses His love throughout generations, and it’s just that touch of His love that people’s lives become meaningful become changed. It literally can’t be explained in words. And i guess as a recipient of His love, i should learn to be a carrier of His love to others, investing my effort and time in people’s lives. i believe love can spark a change in people’s lives, spark a restoration of broken emotional souls and love can lead many to the Source himself.

You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night
But joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don’t have to be afraid
Because I know that you love me
And your love never fails

~ Your love never fails, Chris Quilala

 

sickness and healing

just in one week alone, i’ve been hearing so many incidents of physical illnesses or rather different health conditions leading to pain or even life-threatening. Far too many , and i thought mine was quite bad (I shan’t elaborate here). The pain and agony brought me to a place of brokenness and desperation for God’s healing, and it was really a strengthening of my faith and bringing me to a greater breakthrough, having a greater awareness of who is He in my life. It didn’t turn out as bad as i expected, maybe coz i had too many worries, and everything turned out fine which i’m thankful to God for.

I guess many other stories that I have heard over the past week had cases of illness and sickness that have been much worse than mine. And i guess i wasn’t just happy enough to sit down on the fence, symphatize with them and do nothing. But an active person who is truly concern about the affected people’s lives would (1) first pray for them. They have not been pleasant but it has been rather hard on them. And i guess continual support and prayer would be beneficial. And i believe it’s even more than that, it’s about praying believing with faith that at the end of the day, the health of others will be fully restored, knowing that God is the healer over all. And i guess He’s teaching me how to pray for the people undergoing through this, feeling the burden they are going through and say yes Lord, use me to pray for them and impact their lives, supporting them all the way with His love and mercy. And yeah, it’s more than just sympathy, it’s going the extra mile for them and praying.

That at the end of the entire process, God is faithful and in control. And in the process, one’s faith is build up and God is exalted above all.

Just like the woman in the bible who was subjected to bleeding for 12 years didn’t lose hope and became desperate by touching Jesus’ cloak, and that was when it was on the basis of her faith that healed her. May we learn from her need to depend to trust God and be desperate for a breakthrough in life.

So got this from cheryl’s blog in regards to what ps bob sorge preached the previous wk about the spirit of faith -

it is easy to assume that no answer means no.
- it is just a delay. a delay in which He is crafting a story out of you to impact the future generation/others. (deliverance from eqypt)

it is easy to assume that if someone else is in some kind of prison, he must have done something really wrong.
- prison is just God’s accelerated program. palace without prison will ultimately lead to self-destruction. pruning before promotion. never waste a good prison sentence (joseph)

it is easy to assume that if someone is in a huge fiery trial, he must have alot of issues.
- He deals with you according to your cry. (between saul and david)

it is easy to assume that if someone remains in wilderness for a long time, they must not have enough faith.
- years in wilderness changes your appetite and what you ask for. authority bought in wilderness; used to enrich other generations (caleb)

it is easy to assume that fluctuating faith is disqualifying.
- faith is never static. the longer the delay, the stronger the faith. God looks at the trajectory. (abraham)

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (even when all things don’t go well)  – Heb 11:1

in You i find my delight

In the midst of the things around us that could preoccupy our time and energy, it’s in His presence that i’m refreshed, i’m rejevenated. I love the past two days, it’s been good being in His presence at the end of each day, delighting in how much God loves me and is with me. I guess too many worries are on my heart these days, I used to be alot worse being so kan-chiong. But now this period is training me to just trust and give it all – the situation didn’t turn that bad afterall. I’m believing for His healing and His restoration. It’s a strengthening of my faith too.

And when one delights in the presence, something within stirs up and desires to be with God, to pray and to love Him. Just yesterday, i was reading this book about the power of vision and i realise how much God delights in us through His plans and purposes for us. Many a times, it’s man that misconceive the concept and everything we see in our lives are the total opposite of what God has in store for us. Need that mind shift and let God take charge and delight in Him

To live life is simply to delight in Him - to have great pleasure or enjoyment.

Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart – Psalms 37:4

reflections

 

Was just chatting with Ps J that night on the way home. It really struck me how much passion he has for young people, society and even the nation. And I began to ask myself this – how long do I need to wait to see this vision come to past? How long do I need to wait to have my faith to arise and go out there to love and reach out to people, to see Thy kingdom done on earth as it is in heaven.

And how Ps J shared with me about his own experiences, it’s never too late to start reaching out. I guess many a times I thought my effectiveness to reach others is limited but it’s never to begin with that way. In fact, Ps J was sharing with me that it was more of the older ones who are important coz they cast the vision for cells, for schools. And without the older ones – who are leaders – the youth ministry would be at a loss too. And I began to see how small my faith was, or rather how ineffective I thought I was, only to realize that it’s never about age, it’s all about the heart. The younger ones can directly reach out but it is the older youths who do the ‘backstage’ work of casting the vision and setting the direction for the younger ones. And this leads me to talk about cells – the role of an individual like me in a cell. Do I see myself having a sense of ownership to the cell that I am in? Of course I do, but could there be more to just the status quo. The reason why many people find their ministries their cells stagnant is coz of lack of faith to believe. And it’s more than just cells and church, it’s about societies and nations. If we can’t practice what is within the four walls of the church then we can’t practice it outside. It’s not about how many programmes or methods to reach and impact the world, it’s not about the numbers – ten fold , hundred fold or whatsoever, it’s about the willingness of the heart. It’s either you go all out for it or you don’t do anything at all – and I’m speaking to myself about this. I find it a constant struggle that after the ‘high’ weekends, the weekdays become mundane filled with work work and weariness that we lose focus. And I’m sick and tired of coming on the weekend filling pumped up only to feel mundane again the following week. And it has to do with my faith and passion for His cause – it may take a slow process but one key area that I need to work on now is prayer. To see fruits, to see change to see an impact it comes with prayer coupled with faith. Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains, so expand my horizon of faith and see the things clearer again.

Really dunno what I’m talking about coz I’m just penning it all down. So I want to see myself effective and I don’t wanna lose heart again. Let that passion of Yours burn within me and propel me in Your direction.

being consumed by your vision

i dunno why but the past two weeks i felt very muddled up in my head… losing focus losing the vision that i had at the beginning of this year.

and thinking about it over the past 3 days, with today’s service further re-confirming what i’ve been through, now things have become much clearer. I lost it in the midst of the busyness that i’ve been through and by His grace i caught it back. one needs to be consumed to have his vision fulfilled. one needs to be motivated to follow his vision in life. and i lost touch of it for quite a while, i need to get back to intentionally invest in lives, in friendships that are treasures in life. That’s what i live for to see lives transformed and to see more lives changed with a soul and purpose in God whom we live for

running

I’m running running after You

You become my soul’s delight

I’m running running after You

Here with You i find my life

One thing i have desired

this i will seek after

to dwell in Your house forever

Now i’m running after

The things that really matter

You’ve become my joy and song:)

the greatness of our God

watch?v=enbjxPyrS70&feature=player_embedded

Send “The Greatness Of Our God” Ringtone to your Cell

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Give me eyes to see
More of who You are
May what I behold,
still my anxious heart.
Take what I have known
And break it all apart
For You my God, are greater still.

No sky contains,
No doubt restrains,
All You are,
The greatness of our God.
I spend my life to know,
And I’m far from close
To all You are,
The greatness of our God.

Give me grace to see
Beyond this moment here.
To believe that there
Is nothing left to fear.
That You alone are high above it all.
For You my God, are greater still.

No sky contains,
No doubt restrains,
All You are,
The greatness of our God.
I spend my life to know,
And I’m far from close
To all You are,
The greatness of our God.

And there is nothing
That can ever separate us.
There is nothing that can ever
separate us from Your love.
No life, no death, of this I am convinced.
You my God, are greater still.

And no words can say, or song convey,
all You are the greatness of our God.
I spend my life to know,
And I’m far from close
to all You are,
the greatness of our God.

enlarge my heart

It’s time to conduct a heart surgery, where there’s an opening of the heart to enlarge it;

It’s where an enlarged heart starts to have a greater capacity to take in more and give out the love,

 it’s where an enlarged heart has more passion to live and have the motivation of life,

it’s where an enlarged heart starts to beat faster – one that is not driven by adreanaline but by power;

it’s where an enlarged heart is able to sustain one to complete the race;

 it’s where an enlarged heart seeks to find what’s in the Heart;

it’s where an enlarged heart becomes tender and grows closer to the Heart above.

 I will run the course of Your commandments, for You shall enlarge my heart.
~ Psalms 119:32